The Steve Nam Podcast

Now, if you are struggling to quit porn and you wanna quit porn for good, here are gonna be five mistakes that most people are making that you can correct right now. And the fifth one is gonna be the most crucial that you need to get right if you want lasting success in your recovery journey. Okay, so the first one is addressing the symptom and not the root cause.

This is the first mistake that most people are making. They are addressing the symptom and not the root cause. So when you rely on willpower alone, it can only help you to stop watching porn for so long.

It lasts for only a limited time. And the reason that you have this issue continuing to go on and not stopping is that you're not digging deep. You're not uncovering the underlying reasons for your desire to watch porn in the first place.

And so the most important thing that you do is not just to address the symptom, but you gotta get to the root cause, okay? The second one is setting unrealistic expectations. Now, we all wish that we could quit cold turkey and never experience a craving for porn again, right? Now, while I do believe that God can deliver us from anything, he can do something supernaturally, he can do a miracle, what I've observed is that victory is often achieved through a process of changing your character and changing your identity, right? Rather than instantly removing your desires. I believe that God wants you to work on your character and he wants you to have your identity rooted in Christ.

And so that will involve a process, okay? That's not gonna be an overnight transformation. And so if you think that it's going to be that, or if you just think, why can't I just be done with it once and for all and never experience this craving or this desire again, that is just setting an unrealistic expectation for yourself, okay? The third one, third mistake that most people are making is that they are ignoring the obvious, okay? There's some obvious things that you can correct that you're probably not doing or maybe you're just in denial about it. So if you are addicted and you are repeatedly acting out anytime that you bring your computer or your phone to the bed, guess what you should do next, right? You might wanna consider changing this habit, okay? Think about how serious an alcoholic's commitment to recovery would be if they continued visiting their favorite bar every day while they're still attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

You would laugh about it, right? You'd think that that was at least foolish in thinking that you can make progress while being so conflicted in the actions you're taking, okay? And so of course you want to address the reasons behind your actions, that's very important, but you also wanna make your recovery easier by making the choices that are gonna support your healing and not harm it, okay? You want to make things that are going to pull you out and not get you deeper in your addiction, all right? And the fourth mistake that people are making when they're trying to quit porn for good is that they are attempting to do it alone, all right? I get it, you may think that you don't need anyone else or that you are strong enough on your own that you can figure it out by yourself. You might believe that you just need to try harder, you just need to want it more, you just need to get a little more serious about it and then everything will be okay, you'll turn the corner and you'll make a full recovery, right? I fooled myself with this mindset for over 20 years, constantly believing that freedom was truly just around the corner, right? I was like, tomorrow I'll get free, next week after I'm done with this stressful period in my life or whatever it is, right? But if you could have overcome this issue on your own, wouldn't you have done so already? Wouldn't you have done it by now? You've been struggling with this in secret for far too long and you don't wanna let pride keep you weak, keep you down, keep you held, keep you stuck. Don't let your pride be the reason why you never get free.

Okay, and the fifth one, the fifth mistake that most people make when they're trying to quit porn, if they wanna quit it for good and have lasting success is you want to seek help or you wanna get advice from people, only from people who have successfully quit porn themselves. Don't take advice from people who have not been successful in quitting porn totally and completely, okay? This is akin to the blind leading the blind, right? If a friend offers advice on how to stop watching porn, you wanna ask them, do you still watch porn yourself, right? And if they say, well, yeah, I kinda, I still continue to struggle with it, I still kinda working on it, trying to kick the habit, it's a bad habit, I know, but I'm making, it's highly likely that you shouldn't follow their suggestions, at least until you know that and they can say themselves that they're totally free. It's just, it's common sense, right? Someone who is still trapped in an addiction hasn't experienced what it takes to break free from it.

So how can they genuinely understand what's necessary or unnecessary to achieve true freedom? Is that the type of person that you wanna be taking advice from? And of course, I'm sure they love you, they want your success as well, but they need to get free themselves before they can lead you in what you need to do to get free for yourself. All right, so let me know if this training was helpful and I'll talk to you soon.